


Forgotten

by under_the_blanket



Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski
Genre: Blood, Childhood Memories, Childhood Trauma, Developing Relationship, Drama, F/M, Falling In Love, Fantasy, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Human, Love, Love Confessions, Magic, Monsters, Post-Blood and Wine (The Witcher 3 DLC), Protective Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Romance, Sex, The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt, Vampire Sex, Vampires, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:28:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26392687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/under_the_blanket/pseuds/under_the_blanket
Summary: Eire lived alone on the streets of Novigrad until Zoltan Chivay found her and helped her. Through him she could leave her past behind. She wished nothing more than to look ahead and enjoy her life. She seemed to succeed in this after she met Geralt of Rivia, who was a well-known witcher.Just when she thought her life had a meaning again, memories came back that she didn't know and haunted her every day, pulling her back into a world that seemed like hell...
Relationships: Dettlaff van der Eretein/Original Female Character(s), Dettlaff van der Eretein/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> here's a short description of the main character:
> 
> -26 yo
> 
> \- chestnut brown hair up to the elbow
> 
> \- height 5'8.9 
> 
> -Grey eyes almost silver, the right eye has a green spot on the iris covering almost half of it

It was as always a cold evening in Novigrad. The wind blew through the streets and the rain pattered gently on the stony ground while the sun gave off its last light. Rosemary and thyme were particularly well attended at this one. The dwarf looked at the door and wondered again where she had gone.He had told her several times that she should be back before sunset.But he also knew her. She was stubborn. Very stubborn.The sound of the creaking wood tore his attention away when the door opened. He hoped it was her, but instead came his old friend. Geralt.His shoulders relaxed and he walked towards him. "Geralt!," he said cheerful and patted on his friend's arm. "Zoltan!" he replied and sat down on a stool that was standing at the bar. 

He looked nodding into the loudly lilting mass of people and you could smell the alcohol that had spread everywhere. "Things are going pretty well here," he said and raised his eyebrows. "Of course. After I lowered the prices a bit," Zoltan muttered and scratched the back of his head. "Must be going well." Geralt returned and smiled. "Yes, it wasn't my idea." His friend looked at him questioningly and leaning his right arm on the counter. "Then who?" His gaze slipped through the crowd to look for the person, but was snaply disturbed by Zoltan. "She's not here," he said somewhat exhausted. "She?" Geralt repeated in surprise. "Yes, she-" The two were interrupted when the entrance door slammed open loudly and their attention turned to the door. A person in a black velvet cape ran straight toward Zoltan, holding both hands firmly together as if there's something hidden. "As if on cue," Zoltan growled as the person in front of him stopped. She took the hood back and the chestnut brown hair fell light as a feather over her shoulders. "Zoltan look! I knocked out more than eleven teeth this time. He even had a gold tooth with him." she shouted energetically and pecked out the golden tooth to take a closer look at it. "Maybe you can get a lot of gold for it." Meanwhile, Zoltan crossed his arms and looked at her grimly. Geralt watched the two amused. "How many times have I told you not to take part in these fights and do you actually know what time it is?" he growled and pointed to the window.

She dropped her shoulders and sighed. "I only meant to-" she explained, but Zoltan just shook his head. "You don't have to do this. I can't keep my eyes on you all the time." He knew this was her way of passing the time, but he was also quite worried about her."And while we're at it." Zolten grabbed her by the arms and turned her over to his friend."This is my old friend Geralt of Rivia." "Geralt, Eire. Eire, Geralt." Eire froze for a short time and was surprised by his bright yellow cat eyes. They were fascinating and on the other hand frightening. Frighteningly beautiful. She wanted to ask him if there were more of his kind, but she remained silent. She couldn't define him. His aura couldn't be interpreted as if there was a barrier in between. Geralt raised his hand and waved. "Hello, nice to meet you." he said and waited for her to answer, but she just nodded slightly.Zoltan laughed and slapped her roughly on her back with his hand, whereupon she was surprised and staggered forward briefly. "Don't be so shy. Go on up to your room," he said at the end and she ran upstairs. Disappeared in the shadow of the walls."Sorry that your first encounter had to be like this," the dwarf apologized, but Geralt just shook his head. "That's alright." Geralt looked at Zoltan surprised and at the same time questioning, whereupon Zoltan returned an annoyed "What? "You and women?" he asked and couldn't help but grin. Zoltan gave his friend a sinister look and moaned in frustration. He rubbed the spot between his eyebrows with his finger and closed his eyes. "I'm definitely NOT making a move on women this young," he said, looking up at the stairs where her bedroom was. "not her."

Geralt was surprised by the carefully chosen words of his friend. "Where is the change of heart?" he asked. The witcher didn't recognize his old friend. "It's similar to you and Ciri," he started and finally looked into the eyes of the witcher. 

"Do you know where I found her? "He thought of her face. About her condition. Sitting on the side of the road in the back alley. "She was in the street begging. "And if that didn't help, she even stole. She smelled like a wet dog. I tell you."

He poured himself and his friend a glass of redanish beer. "Part of me didn't care, but the other part wouldn't leave her there. "Finally, I took her with me and gave her a bath." He took a sip and Geralt did the same. "She's pretty stubborn and goes out fighting all the time." Geralt was surprised that a woman was fighting with bare fists on the street. "She must learn to fight with a sword, but she doesn't take it seriously." Zoltan sighed in frustration and drank his glass. He hit it on the table and wiped the foam off his mouth. Then an idea came to him.

"I got it. Geralt, you will teach her how to fight with a sword."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoltan has managed to persuade Geralt and Eire has her first lessons with him

Geralt looked at him with wide open eyes. "Why me?" he asked and still couldn't believe the suggestion Zoltan just gave him. "Why not." the dwarf replied and laughed. "It does you no harm." He took the two beer mugs and put them next to the sink. When he looked at the sorcerer, he could see his not so amused expression. He just pulled his nose and sighed. "Oh come on. You must have time." It was true. Geralt really had time and this time he wasn't happy about it. He would have loved to get another job on the quick one. But luck wasn't on his side this time. A stubborn girl, he thought to himself and had to think of her frightened face when she saw him for the first time. Was it fear or just pure curiosity? He couldn't define it. He, too, had to admit to looking at her well at first. The green spot on her eye was also special, but maybe just a genetic defect. Maybe he thought about it too much. As Zoltan said, he should just try it. It can't be that hard. He has already managed it with Ciri. So he used Ciri as an excuse and finally agreed to his friend's proposal. A bit of fresh wind couldn't hurt. The dwarf clapped his hands together and beamed over both ears like a child. He was clearly happy. "Tomorrow morning you can pick her up here. I'll see that she throws herself into good shreds," Zoltan explained and Geralt nodded. The two said goodbye and Geralt disappeared in the dark streets of Novigrad.

After the last customers left the inn, the dwarf went up to the girl's room. He knocked on the door twice and waited for an answer when he finally got it. Eire had wrapped herself in her blanket and lay in bed facing the wall. Zoltan had to think for a moment about how he could only stand it with her for so long. "Eire." he started and walked to her side. "Geralt is your new sword trainer starting tomorrow." After he said the last sentence, Eire threw the blanket back and sat up. The dwarf was surprised even by her hectic manner. Her forehead frowned and he didn't know if she was sad or angry until he heard her speak. "Why? You know I don't like swordfighting!" she shouted and Zoltan already knew that the discussion would be long. He didn't let himself be influenced by her energetic nature and leaned against the wall behind him with crossed arms. Screaming back wouldn't make it better. He was acting from experience.

"Because in this world, the sword gets you further than your bare fists."

"But--"

"But nothing" he growled and looked at her seriously. He could tell by her posture that he had won.

"You need this and Geralt is the right person for it." She gave him a sinister look, but Zoltan did not let him appreciate it.

"Okay." she gave meowly and threw herself back under the covers. She couldn't argue with him. It just didn't help and Zoltan was the exception. He was the only one she gave up on.

Zoltan grinned contentedly like a winner, although he also had to admit how surprised he was at her quick agreement. "There you go," he said and strutted out of the room.

The next morning dawned and with a loud yawn Eire stretched out and looked in the mirror. A few of her strands stuck to the corner of her mouth through her saliva. She rubbed them away with the back of her hand and was surprised by a loud scream from the lower floor. "Eire! Move down here immediately!," Zoltan yelled, causing her to roll her eyes. Not a day went by without him talking to her in a calm tone of voice. She quickly ran her fingers through her knotted hair and made it into a braid. She slipped into her black cloth pants and put on a long-sleeved dark green shirt, with a leather vest over it. As she walked down the stairs, she still climbed into her knee-high brown boots. In the morning it was quite cold in Novigrad. It seemed to her as if the city was adapting to her mood. Novigrad was hell for her and she was grateful for every single second in her life for Zoltan for getting her out of the streets. Otherwise she would have either worked for the Beggar King or ended up in the arena of Junior. Just the thought made her shudder.

Zoltan was already standing below and didn't look very happy. "You're late," he said and nodded his head over to Geralt who was already leaning against the door, waiting for her. "I'm sorry." she gave meow and Zoltan shook his head grumpy. "Don't tell me, tell him." Her eyes moved to him and she saw him look at her with a wry smile. "Sorry...," she said, and Geralt pushed himself away from the wall. "Apology accepted."

Zoltan grinned back and forth between them. "There you go." he shouted and gave Eire a push on the back. Again she almost fell forward. He surprised her every time and she could barely catch herself. She gave him an evil look before she turned to the witcher. "Shall we?" he asked and she nodded. They said goodbye to Zoltan before the door closed behind them and they disappeared from his sight.

Geralt walked to his horse roach, which was tied to a pole next to the stairs. The horse gave a calm and relaxed aura of itself. For a blot, the horse felt quite comfortable here and she wasn't afraid of the witcher. Maybe he had cast a calming spell on her? It went through her mind when she saw Geralt pulling her off the stake. He himself was very calm, but his feelings were very difficult to interpret and that stressed Eire a bit. _Of course, Eire. He's not as easy to knit as a human being either. The anatomy is different_ she told herself. The two of them walked along the streets of Novigrad and caught curious and disgusted looks. There was a bit of everything. 

Geralt didn't seem to mind, but for Eire it was a small blow in the pit of the stomach. But she kept her gaze upright and ran past them together with the witcher and his horse, like two famous people. But yeah, Geralt kind of was famous. 

It felt good for her to walk next to a big and strong person like Geralt. She saw how he intimidated her. She couldn't hide her gloating and Geralt noticed this too. 

"Is something wrong?" he asked as they walked over the bridge that connected Novigrad with a piece of land. 

She shook her head and looked at the grass landscape that lay before them. 

"I guess you aren't the person with many words." He looked down at the girl next to him and noticed that she wasn't really like ciri.   
Her hair shimmered in the dawn and gave this rich reddish tinge. Her walk was that of a man, but light feminine features could still be seen in her steps. 

"I..." she started but stopped when they finally reached the spot.   
She was overwhelmed by the nature that stretched around her. The dark fir trees literally melted into the ground, which was a mixture of grass and mud. The dry earth, which in some places appeared like small cow patches, was a good contrast in this barren landscape.   
The wind blew in her face and kissed her skin, which gave her goose bumps.   
She only realized how beautiful it was here. She felt very comfortable.

Her rapture was interrupted by the sound of steel. 

Geralt had just pulled two blunt steel swords out of her saddlebag.   
The witcher was lucky that he hadn't given them to the blacksmith yet. 

"We use the back. Although they are blunt, you can get seriously injured if you use them properly." he explained and handed her one. 

The hilt of the sword was covered with red cloth and had slight cracks on the sides. But the thing that caused her more trouble was the weight. She could hold it and it wasn't really heavy for a steel sword, but she needed the stamina to keep up in a fight with it.   
And that's what gave her a stomach ache. 

She shook off the insecurity and looked at Geralt who was just waiting for her to go into fighting position.   
While she pushed her right leg back, she bent her left one down and closed her hands around the hilt. She held the sword so tight that her ankles were already white.

The witcher put down his sword and walked towards her. 

"When you fight against someone, you should **not** let your fear be seen," he said as he corrected her legs. "Shoulders straight and loose. They should be movable when fighting." Then he took her left hand from the sword and put it next to her hip. "One hand should be free to help you with heavy blows."   
He ran back again and returned to his original position.   
"And always keep a head. Don't let your emotions get the upper hand." 

She felt the witcher lift her up and radiate a cool energy. 

_Is that why his feelings were unclear all the time? Did she think he was controlling them?_

There was envy in her, but also a bit of frustration. She could never hide her feelings during the fights. Something arose in her. Something that was deep inside of her and just waiting to break out completely.   
She hoped that he could teach her to control these feelings. Lost in her thoughts, she forgot how Geralt ran towards her with his sword and swung it above her head. 

"Both hands around the handle and in the horizontal." he shouted and she had only a few seconds to react when she parried the attack. 

"Tsk" 

She looked at him, who wasn't really pleased. 

"Where are you with your thoughts?" he asked and walked backwards to his place. 

"I'm sorry," she said and tried to push her emotions aside this time.

"Ready?" he asked but she had to answer herself the question first.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geralt decides to take Eire to Kaer Morhen to teach her to control her emotions during the fight. Geralt hopes that Vesemir could help her with it...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made a small time skip. i hope you guys aren't angry with me ^^

He approached her again, but this time from the side. 

She blocked him and turned around to counter with a swing on her own axis and went into a frontal attack.

Then a heat wave came over her and her body boiled. She saw it getting dark around her and a whiff of black smoke flew around her. It directed her forward and she suddenly heard a laugh. She assigned it to an older man. It became louder and louder and more hysterical. There was something kind of morbid about it and then she saw a grin in front of her. It triggered something in her that she couldn't determine. 

The force of the sword clashed with a loud clang against that of the witcher and he was surprised by the strength.  
He saw how her pupils had widened and her eyes seemed dull. You could see that she was trying to control something from the inside.   
When Geralt blocked her blow again, she suddenly dropped her sword and clenched her left hand into a fist.   
She went on the offensive and aimed at him. 

It happened within seconds and Geralt had to use Axii to calm her down. He caught her fist in his own and stopped the attack. 

"Were you about to hit me with your bare fist?" he asked and raised an eyebrow when Eire came back to her senses.

"No... I...," she stuttered, but stopped when she saw the sword lying on the ground.

"You may be able to do it with humans, but not with monsters." he instructed her while he picked up the sword and put it back in the saddlebag together with his.

"But I will **not** fight monsters," she said and waited until Geralt stood in front of her again.

"Eire." he started and let his shoulders drop. 

_Uh-oh. Here we go,_ she thought to herself as she saw his better-than-usual look.

"You know that there are other creatures besides humans." 

"Yes." she narrowly returned.

"And you can make more money from monsters than you do from street fighting."

"Maybe, but the street fights are enough for me." Eire tried to convince the witcher, but from the way he looked at her and the way he held her, you could tell that it didn't work.

"Listen. I'm not giving you orders you should follow. Just take my advice or think about it." 

The witcher began to become more and more likeable to Eire. She was glad that they got along well. It could have gone differently.   
For her there was a spark of hope and she wanted to hold on to that.   
At least for a moment. 

"Tell me, Geralt." Her words surprised him. He heard her say his name for the first time and from her mouth it didn't sound so bad. "How do you do that with your emotions? How do you control them?" she asked and sat down on a rock that stood a few meters behind her. 

"It's good that you bring that up," he said and sat down next to her. "You radiate a lot of energy when you fight. I don't know what the trigger is, but if you want to talk about it..." 

The witcher was interrupted by Eire. 

"I don't know myself," she explained, pulling one knee to her body. 

"Hmm." Geralt had to think for himself, but he was no clairvoyant or soothsayer. "Whatever it is, you must learn to control it. We will find a way," he said and gave her a smile. She was surprised about his nice manner and caught herself staring at him. She felt something around her cheeks and wondered if she was getting a fever. She tried to pull herself together and returned his smile. 

"When you smile, you don't look so scary anymore."   
He looked at her in surprise. "Was that a compliment just now?" he asked and Eire had to think about whether he was playing dumb on purpose. "That means thanks. Geralt." she corrected him and put her head down on her knee. "Thank you,"he said and laughed. It was short but contagious so Eire joined him.

"I am trying to teach you how to sword fight and you are teaching me how to take compliments. Who would have thought." 

"You never stop learning," Eire said and they both laughed again.

Hours passed and the two of them were still sitting on the rock talking. Geralt talked about the weirdest quests he got and also about Kaer Morhen. 

"If you want I can take you with me and introduce you to the others" Geralt suggested and he saw how Eire had a sparkle in her eyes. "There are more of your kind?" she said for joy and beamed over both ears.  
"What do you mean, 'of your kind'? we're not food or anything like that," he sulked, but he was hit with his elbow in the side. "You know what I mean," she hissed and went to her feet.

"We should go. I don't want Zoltan to preach another sermon to me," she said, stretching her arms in the air to loosen her muscles a little, which were stiffened by sitting.

"Good idea," said Geralt and they walked back the way to Novigrad. 

-

Geralt and Eire met four times a week to train. As long as the witcher didn't get any further contracts or quests. The girl got used to Geralt and the two became close friends. Eire was happy to finally announce that she had a friend.   
Zoltan was also happy that she got a breath of fresh air and with Geralt at her side she could see more of the world except the barren Novigrad.   
Eire became very good at swordplay. The witcher was pleased that she learned quickly and that she finally had fun with the sword.   
He also took her with him from time to time when there was another monster to kill. Only she had to get used to some creatures first.   
Even if the fighting went well, there were still problems with her emotions. She still couldn't control them, which frustrated her. The frustration quickly made her lose her temper, which resulted in the sword's guidance not being clean.   
This was a bit risky for Geralt, because he often had to save her by doing so.  
Geralt hoped that maybe Vesemir could help her. 

As the day finally approached, the winds became increasingly stormy. People became more nervous. The monsters stronger. It felt like something was trying to warn the young woman. Her feeling was right and she was right. She felt very tired and weak on the day of departure. It was as if something was sitting on her shoulders and was keeping her from taking the step outside. She had never been sick before and she didn't want that to be the reason why she couldn't go to Kaer Morhen. She took a strong sip from the water bottle next to her, which tasted a little bitter. Of course, the bottle had been standing next to her bed for days and was untouched. 

After she had changed her clothes, she saw Zoltan outside the door talking to Geralt. Even if she didn't want to, she caught herself listening to them for a few lines.

"Please take care of her and see that she can control herself. She shouldn't give up her spirit. She's too young for that," Zoltan said anxiously to his friend, who just nodded understandingly. 

"I will and thank you for your trust. Vesemir can certainly help her." 

She ignored the next dialogues and walked next to the men. 

"Eire. How nice that you finally made it out of bed." You could hear how the dwarf tried not to sound worried.

"You guys probably didn't wait that long." 

"No, only a couple of hours, actually." Geralt said.

"What?! Hour-!" she said with her eyes wide open.

"He's just kidding, Eire. You have to get used to that. You can't even hear the witcher's sarcasm. As cold as they can be sometimes." Zoltan snorted and grinned only to Geralt.

Eire could only roll her eyes.

"If you're going to start like that now, I'll think about Kaer Morhen again," she said annoyed and crossed her arms. This time they didn't say anything until Zoltan interrupted the silence with a sigh and turned to Eire. He took her hands and his and looked into her cool silver eyes. "Listen, I can't change Geralt's character, but maybe you could just not take it so seriously. I just want you to get along and come back safely." His voice was soft. He looked like a worried father who gave mixed feelings to Eire. "And dress warmly there. The weather there is nothing like here in Novigrad." 

She nodded and gave the dwarf one last hug. Let his feelings in, he was expressing. The warm feeling of a worried man who has only honest feelings. It felt great, this security. 

"Thank you, Zoltan," she said as she released herself from his arms. "You take care of yourself too."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my dear readers! Idk if you guys do the same, but when I write a story, I like to listen to music. It allows me to put myself more into the characters and their emotions, as well as feel the atmosphere as if I were there myself. Maybe some of you now think I'm weird or crazy, but you could describe me that way :D  
> For those of you who are interested, you can have a little taste and listen to some music while reading. It's up to you. Enjoy~
> 
> Here's the link:
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBF7aG-W4Os

The day was like any other. She lay in bed and rolled back and forth on it. The blanket was already lying on the floor, like a used handkerchief, which was already too cold to cover herself with. Even though it seemed like day to her, it was dark in her room. It had no windows. Only the narrow gaps of the wooden floorboards let cold air into the room to let her know that winter was already coming. Maybe they were near Kaer Morhen. _Somewhere resting in Skellig._ she thought.

She sat up on the bed and looked around the room. Just an old wooden dresser that had seen better days, nothing else. It reminded her of a refugee camp. The walls were wet and already moldy from the humidity. You could even hear it dripping in some corner. It sounded as if there was a canalization nearby. She looked at the door that was right in front of her. Dirty and old. Touching it could make you sick. Then she looked down at her body. She was wearing an old rag dress that had brown spots and you couldn't see the original color anymore. Eire couldn't remember that she had changed. Maybe the witcher had changed her but that was impossible. Geralt liked her and they were close. But **so** close that he would change her clothes was far behind her imagination.

She wanted to find him and ask where they were, so she walked barefoot with small and quiet steps to the door. Her steps became slower as she heard voices. Behind the door she heard a male voice talking to someone. So Geralt wasn't alone. She didn't want to listen, but she also didn't want to appear in front of strangers in this shabby dress.

"Now calm down. I'm going to leave right now."

It was the voice of a woman. She sounded frightened.

"Stop that kneeling around. Get up and get me what I asked you, old hag!"

That wasn't the voice of Geralt. This one was different, and he sounded like he have had a drop too much. The woman was crying. Loudly. It sounded torturous. Like she wanted the nightmare to stop. Eire didn't know what to do. She didn't know who the people behind the door were. It could've been magicians. Bandits or Junior's men who were after her. Something tightened in her chest. She got goose bumps all over her body. She felt fear, tremendous fear. But from where? Her hands and legs didn't stop shaking. She wanted to help the woman, but something in her wanted to stop her.

_Don't do it_

She tried to pull herself together and put on her serious face. Maybe Geralt was nearby or away for a moment and could help her. The thought could only calm her down for a moment, but when she heard the man beating the woman, she recoiled. She had to do it. She couldn't stand by and watch. Someone had to intervene. The girl shakily reached for the doorknob. As she did so, something inside of her screamed louder by the second. She tried to stop it. To tell her that if she went through the door now, there would be no turning back. She was afraid. Very much so, but it did not stop her. It was as if, despite all the protests, she did it anyway. As if this story had already been written. Like a ballad about a brave hero, which the bards told the audience on the streets of Novigrad with accompanying music by their comrades. The spectators waited eagerly for the heroic deed and wanted to listen to the stories further. To hear how the bards continued telling the stories, the fates of the heroes. So she opened the door, blanked out the voices in her head and looked her enemy in the eyes.

"How good that you have come," said the man, who was in his mid-fifties.

Her heart stopped. She had seen that grin before. Something was trying to wake her up. Something told her to flee.

_That's him. Run. As fast as you can._

It was like a heroic story. The enemy was right in front of her. The victim wounded on the ground. Now it was time for her role to do something. She **had to** do something, but her body went on strike. Everything in her body was on strike.

"Go to the nearest tavern and get me strong mead." he ordered tipsy and pointed his finger at the woman, motionless on the floor. "That bitch just wouldn't listen."

The man walked towards her. The empty mead bottles in his left hand. The closer he got to her, the more she became aware of how small she was. As if she had been shrunk like Thumbelina. She stared into the empty eyes of the woman and it went through her mind whether she would end up like this if she didn't listen to him. She couldn't take her gaze from the woman until the man's voice made her twitch.

"Stop staring at her. Can't you even leave a corpse alone or do you have to curse it, too," he growled and a flag of alcohol went in her nose.

It was his way of talking to her. His voice, which scratched her nerves more and more with every word. It was as if she had had to put up with him for a long time. She wanted to see him on the floor instead of the woman. She wanted his eyes to look into the room so empty. She wanted the blood on the wooden floor to be his. It was booming in her ears and she wanted nothing more than to see him dead. She could no longer hold back.

"Monster." she whispered and did not take her eyes off the woman.

The man frowned and put his hands on his hips. "Excuse me?" he said in a bitter undertone and pretended not to understand.

He leaned forward towards her with intent and his yellow unkempt teeth, as well as the renewed biting smell of alcohol, came towards her face. He wanted to provoke her and he was aware of that. The smell of alcohol made her sick and she tried not to throw up on him, even though she would have liked to. Her head snapped up to him and her eyes narrowed. It was hard for her to put into words the rage that was about to overflow inside her.

" **You are a monster!** " she shouted at him and literally spat in his face.

There was a brief silence. The man frowned at her and gritted his teeth.

"Big words for a little girl like you," he growled. "besides, you are the **monster** of both of us." Before she could react, the man reached out with his bottle and hit her on the temple with a blow. The shards of glass pierced deep into her skin and before she could pull herself up from the blow she woke up. Bathed in sweat and with a racing heart in her chest, she tried to recover from the shock. When she regained consciousness, she realized that it was only a dream. A dream that seemed too real. The blow on her temple still felt real.

"Shit." she cursed.

Her head pounded wildly as she grabbed her temple. That there was no blood left on it seemed like a miracle. Her fingers slipped over a bulge that felt like a scar. She had never noticed the scar before. She also had to admit to herself that she hadn't really looked at herself very well, or more precisely in the mirror. She realized that this was no ordinary dream. It was reality and it really happened to her. But Eire couldn't remember anything. The face seemed blurry to her. Her memories of the dream were almost gone. There were only small shreds left. Like the woman's face, the smell of alcohol, his breath, where the mere thought was enough to make her throw up. And last but not least the blow, the pain of the bottle. Was it perhaps the trigger for her uncontrollable emotions, which quickly spread like a kindled fire over her whole body? She began to brood about it, but the more she did, the worse the headaches got. They had taken a rest in the village of Rogne in Skellig, which was near a lake. Due to Geralt's good reputation on Skellige, the residents were very generous with their hospitality and accommodated the two travelers with their own cabin and warm meals.

Eire crept past the sleeping Geralt and went outside. The cool north wind did her good. It helped her to clear her head. A good distraction from the nightmare. She ran down to the lake. To a place where there were no drowners. She had neither the strength nor the nerves to fight them. The sound of the floating water and the rustling of the fir trees was like balm for her soul. It calmed her very much. She slowly got a clear head again and so she knelt down at the water. She let her hands slide into the icy water. The cold made her skin tingle, but it felt good. She scooped some water with her hands and dipped her face in it. For a moment she forgot the world around her. Simply everything. But this moment didn't last long until she heard footsteps behind her and suddenly she heard a familiar voice.

"Can't you sleep?" Geralt asked, but she didn't answer and continued to look at the view in front of her. She did not really feel like talking. "A nightmare?" The fact that Geralt was always so curious made Eire uneasy sometimes. Finally she gave him a short answer. "You could call it that," she said and looked up at the stars. "I'll be glad when we finally get to Kaer Morhen."

She couldn't get rid of the restless feeling that maybe it was because of the place, that she wasn't well. Her head was all messed up. The dream was a part of her past she didn't want to believe. Thinking about it only gave her a headache and it was convenient for her that Geralt spoke up. "I'm sure you will like it there. The others would also be happy about a fresh breeze." He sounded like a child whose new friend he wanted to introduce to his other friends. The witcher knew that she was in good hands in Kaer Morhen. She would get along well with Yennefer and Ciri. Especially with Ciri. A smile flitted over his lips at the thought. He hadn't had this feeling of anticipation for a long time. Eire didn't miss it either and she caught him grinning happily.

"Is something wrong," she asked and looked into his bright yellow cat eyes, which stood out especially under the moonlight.

 _His eyes shine brighter than the moon_ , Eire thought to herself and was about to say it out loud, but could just about stop himself.

Every woman would've been under the spell of such a moment. Eire had to resist the mysterious aura he radiated that evening. "Everything is fine," he said. " We should go back and get some sleep. It would do us both good. "

"I'll try." Eire had to think about the dream again and on the way to the cabin she hoped that it wouldn't come back and rob her of her sleep again


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally arrived in Kaer Morhen, Geralt tries to find a conversation with Vesemir about Eire.

"Not much further."

They rode through the woods, squeezed themselves with the horses through narrow paths, which were much too risky for the eye alone. One wrong move and they would have arrived somewhere else than in Kaer Morhen.

"I can tell."

The pale woman trembled and tried to rub her arms with one hand on the horse.

_Multitasking, if you could call it that._

Leading the horse on a straight path and at the same time trying not to fall stiffly from the horse through the cold were things she was currently concentrating most on.  
She was already floating in her thoughts of sitting by the fire in Kaer Morhen and making sure she felt her limbs again.  
The more they approached Kaer Morhen, the bumpier and steeper the paths became. Even though she was afraid that her horse might set the wrong foot and it would be over for her within seconds, she enjoyed the view around her. It was for a brief moment that took away her fear and anxiety, but it helped her. Even the white wolf didn't miss the view.  
These were one of the few things he liked about his assignments. To wander through nature and enjoy the landscape and the fresh air.  
Especially beautiful to look at were the places where no humans had lent a hand. Untouched nature, which was gold value and reminded them how important flora and fauna were for everyone.

Eire envied every hunter, every druid or witcher who roamed the forests and could find himself in harmony with it. She knew only the damp and wet streets of Novigrad. The large buildings were to her like the trees and horses, the animals of her stony landscape, which she made herself at times as a beggar.  
If she was lucky, she could even catch the cats from time to time, who scurried back and forth between the gaps in the walls of the houses with their tails raised.

The ever-slow trotting of roach told her that Kaer Morhen was near.  
A quick glance close up confirmed that it was already right in front of them.  
A large castle stretched over the dense ridge of pines. It was frighteningly large and intimidating to look at.  
But standing still was out of the question, so she had no time to admire it further.  
She would have enough of that later, once they were inside.

They stopped in front of a ditch that was connected to a drawbridge. The ditch was probably intended for unwanted visitors.

Geralt got down from roach and took the reins to continue on foot.

"From here we walk."

Eire leaned forward with her upper body to take the weight off her legs and so she also got off the horse with a swing.  
A small pat on the horse as a small praise and she followed the witcher.

"You could give your horse a name."

"I could... But this isn't a dog, Geralt," she said, and the horse snorted, as if it had understood every word and was now snapping.

"I'll think it over," she said shortly after, grabbing her conscience.

_____________________

The icy wind blew in her face and she could no longer control the trembling of her lower jaw.  
The way through the castle gave her a queasy feeling. While Geralt's grin grew wider and wider, the corners of her mouth were sinking. It was the opposite of joy. She wanted nothing more than to get on the horse, turn around and run away. But she knew she couldn't survive a second out there. Especially since she didn't know the monsters living there and didn't have his background knowledge about them. She was no further than a companion or rather helper. Next to the witcher she felt unnecessary. He could also do everything alone, but took her with him anyway. He taught her his knowledge, his techniques. Everything. He knew how to explain things well. As if he already had practice. She had suggested to him several times to become a teacher and give lessons to others. But every time he smiled and said he would rather spend a night with a grave hag than constantly repeating lessons like a master prophet and hoping that at least someone would understand.

As they walked through the next gate, they arrived at an open area. It looked like a training ground. Two dummies stood to their right. They reminded her of scarecrows.

The stairs in front of them led up to a tower which was probably their quarters.

Her thoughts was torn by a deep voice and she heard someone call Geralt.

"Vesemir," he replied and Eire looked in the direction of the witcher, towards which he was going.

A man as tall as Geralt himself. She estimated his age to be between 50 and 60, even though she knew he was far from it.  
But this was the best way she could describe him. His shoulder-length hair was dark-grey. Also his eyes shone yellow and looked like those of a cat, which the quiet girl noticed when his were lying on hers.

"And who is your companion? I don't suppose you have a new girlfriend?"

"No, this is Eire. Zoltan asked me to train with her."

"Zoltan? We're talking about the same person, right, Geralt?" He looked at her more closely, with a mixture of suspicion and curiosity.

"If you mean the dwarf, yes. I don't remember another one or ever want to know. One is already enough."

Vesemir laughed. They must have been very close and knew each other very well. She could feel that clearly. This warmth aura, which emanated from both of them. A feeling of security. Of home.

Eire tried to bring her best smile for the day and looked towards this vesemir.

"Pleased to meet you."

She directed her hand towards him, which he shook with a smile after a short hesitation.

"You don't need to address me formally. Make yourself at home here", the witcher explained.

"Thank you" replied and this time her smile was honest.

"You should come in. Your hands are already icicles."

_____________________

Vesemirs led them into the castle and it seemed even bigger inside than outside. The hall was large and extended at least 15 meters in height. Even a giant would have enough space for a camp here. A few corners needed renovation, but apparently it was enough for them.  
There was no real furniture, it looked more like a laboratory.

The shelves with the utensils were spread out like a labyrinth. Small as well as large cages lay rotten on one corner.  
Experiments on living beings, especially humans, didn't seem unrealistic here.  
A huge fireplace decorated the wall at the other end of the hall, which made Eire happy just by looking at it.  
While Geralt and Vesemir talked about the old times and disappeared behind a door that led to the kitchen, Eire went to the fireplace.

She stood near the fire and stretched out her hands.  
She let the heat of the flames touch her fingertips and closed her eyes for a moment.  
She felt the numbness disappear and she felt every single limb again, as if she had lost it for decades.  
Her shoulders relaxed and she exhaled with relief. At last she was back to her old self again. She had been afraid of getting one or two frostbites before her arrival, but for now this wasn't the case.

' _In Kaer Morhen I will hopefully finish my training soon and finally return to Zoltan'_ she thought.

It was a wish that was on her to-do list. But even if she wished it, she didn't know if she would be happy afterwards. Actually, she didn't want to go to Novigrad. Back to where everything began. But it was Zoltan who led her there. He had sacrificed everything for her and saved her from the hole where she had wished only death. To never see him again would be like poison on her soul.

"I see you have already found your place."

Her body twitched in surprise and ripped her from her thoughts.  
She turned her head to the side and looked at the person beside her.

' _Another witcher'_ she thought to herself as she looked into his golden eyes.

She felt pure curiosity as he approached her, allowing her to look at him more closely. Several scars covered his face. He had more than Geralt. They covered his lips, which were a bit warped and thus looked deformed.   
He had the same calm energy as Geralt, but something was a little different. At their first meeting, she felt mistrust in Vesemir and Geralt, but he was different, he looked at her as a human being. The curiosity that surrounded his cat eyes made Eire smile. It was like an all-clear and invitation for him to stay with her. He also smiled at her. They exchanged glances for the moment until she cut the silence between them with her voice.

"If I'm not standing here, you would've had to pick up my body parts. A few more minutes and my arms would've fallen off."  
She put her hands together and rubbed them in a short, fast pace and stretched them again towards the fire.

The witcher laughed and leaned against the edge of the table behind him.

"My name is Eskel. Pleased to meet you," he began, whereupon Eire could only turn around and smiled contentedly.

"Eire. The pleasure is all mine."

She walked to the table and sat down on the next chair that was near the fireplace.  
He made a good impression on her and she was surprised by herself how relaxed she could talk to him. Without any fear.  
She couldn't make any human friends, but the company of witchers was different. She got along better with them than with her own kind.  
Maybe because they also had a past and were different, they could understand each other better. The sympathy of the people could be sought in vain, but the witchers listened to her. Their eyes lay upon her with calm and understanding, while that of the humans was only reluctant and looking down.  
It was perhaps a sign that the world around her could finally improve in a positive direction.

"You don't look like you came from the North."

Confusion covered her face, and wrinkles lay between her eyebrows.

"Well..., If Novigrad isn't from the north, then summer **literally** sucks."

"The summer in Novigrad can be nice if you catch the right day. But if you are looking for real summer, I recommend Toussaint."

"Toussaint? That sounds more exotic."

"It is."

The thought of going there after her training was just too tempting for her.  
The summer in Novigrad was more like a depressive summer. People moved their grim faces as soon as the sun shone over the mountains and touched their pale faces.  
Herbalists or druids, who lived in harmony with nature, enjoyed this moment and were grateful for it. They were also happier and appreciated it very much, in contrast to these grumpy creatures in Novigrad. If they would spend some more time in the shadows, they could be called a new breed of monsters.

"You are a human being, am I right? Was there a reason why Geralt is now your personal trainer? I didn't think he would do that again."

"Again?" she repeated and looked at him questioningly.

"Yes, Geralt had taught a girl named Ciri. Since she was little."

The name Ciri didn't mean much to her, but it made her smile.

_Apparently he had potential to be a teacher after all._

She couldn't wait to rub it in his face again.

_____________________

"So..." Vesemir leaned his weight against the kitchen table with crossed arms, while Geralt made himself comfortable on a small wooden stool.

"What's on your mind."

Geralt rolled his eyes and looked at his half-joking friend.

"If you already don't take me seriously now, this conversation has no sense," he said, looking at him with his wrinkled forehead.

Then Vesemir laughed and shook his head. He had tried to joke a little with the witcher, but he was probably not in the mood. So he relaxed his shoulders and took a deep breath in and out.  
Let his chest sink and let his eyes rest on him.

"There must be a reason why you want to speak to me alone."

The white-haired man nodded.

"It's about Eire," he started and tried to get to the point. He himself wasn't a fan of big talk.

"Her fighting style is good, but there's a problem."

Vesemir raised an eyebrow, which formed wrinkles on his forehead.  
He waited for Geralt to continue.

"She can't always control her emotions. I can feel the aura around her changing. Her eyes are changing and she has this emptiness inside. Her attacks are much stronger and the hits more precise."

Vesemir fell into deep thoughts. He pondered. There could be many reasons for that.  
He couldn't think of much to begin with, so he thought meditation would be the best for now.

"Let's see if that works. If we don't see success, then we have to look for an alternative. I will go to the library later and see what I can find."

Geralt nodded in agreement. He sat up from his stool and wanted to leave, stopped at the door when he heard Vesemir's worried voice.

"If there is a trigger we don't know about. Some kind of curse or something similar, I can't promise much."

The wolf looked mousily at the door and remembered that he knew nothing about her past. He was depressed and didn't know what to do to help her. A cloud of thoughts hung by Zoltan, who he promised to watch over her. The other hung with Eire, who wished for a bright future. But the witcher was worried that instead of helping her, he would wake up something else. Something that could harm her.  
He was perplexed and didn't know whether he should take this step or not.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, uncle Vesemir has finally appeared. He's one of my favorite characters ngl.  
> I'll soon draw a picture of Eire so you guys can finally see her ;)
> 
> PS: English isn't my native language, so please don't be angry with me if you see some grammatical mistakes uwu. I'm doing my best here :3
> 
> Hope you loved this chapter!
> 
> Cheers!
> 
> -Sora


	6. Chapter 6

_It's said that memories last a lifetime. That you take the good ones to the grave and the bad ones stick to you like a demon. Memories leave traces in our past. You carry them with you like a talisman and travel with it. They are important, because sometimes you have nothing else left._

_But what if you do not have them?_

_" **Well, then you have to create new ones."**_

____

  
Geralt heard lively voices when he opened the door and entered the hall. He saw Eskel and Eire talking carelessly, as if they had known each other for ages.  
He was already sorry to interrupt them. He joined them and the two stopped talking. Both looked at the witcher while he searched for the right words to say. He was probably too surprised by the suddenly cheerful mood of Eire. A rare sight he had missed. The last time he saw her like this, they were still in Novigrad.   
She must have missed Zoltan already, the witcher thought to himself. 

"Geralt! Finally we meet again." Eskel shouted with a grin.

The two of them smiled at each other and gave each other a firm handshake.   
The familiar feeling of true and long friendship flooded the girl and she caught herself smiling. 

Eskel and Geralt exchanged a few words and joked around. During this Eire learned that Geralt was a womanizer.   
Eire had already guessed this. He was attractive, tall, strong and well-built. Not to forget that he also had humor and character.   
Actually what Eire wanted from a man.   
While the two talked about the old times, Eire realized that she had never thought about the subject of love, as well as romantic interests. She had never had the time to waste these thoughts.   
She thought about Zoltan, how she could best support him, and of course the struggles she had to face every day.   
Many women her age were focused on a marriage and wanted to start a family, but for Eire this had never been an issue. 

-

She wanted to explore the world, see other places. Meet new people and maybe something would happen and she would find a partner. But that was all written in the stars. She wouldn't know why a man should fall in love with her. She was exactly the opposite of a perfect woman. She didn't meet the expectations of a woman. At least not in the way she had heard from the men in Novigrad. Sometimes she listened to the men after the fights and learned the one or other wishes and expectations of a woman. 

_"Delicate stature of a noblewoman, cuddly gait of a cat, distinctive skin like that of a pearl from Skellige, the voice of a siren, cooking skills like those of the Baron's court cook and talented in bed like a prostitute from Passiflora."_

That day she looked at herself in front of the mirror for a particularly long time. She was aware that she didn't meet any of these expectations, so she didn't have high hopes. This was also one of the reasons why she quickly put this aspect out of her mind.  
Who would have wanted a woman who had no noble descent and who fought in the streets? 

She took on the role of a man who should protect a woman and not the other way around.   
She was aware that she had no idea how men thought and acted. She only knew that they weren't the type for unnecessary thoughts, but acted quickly. 

Eire couldn't identify herself particularly as a woman. She hadn't wasted her thoughts to look more closely at a woman's body - her body. How her skin would feel when a man touched it. How skin contact, or more precisely, the most intimate way for a person to show love - sex - felt.

**"Eire."**

Geralt's voice ripped her out of her thought bubble. 

"Hm?" 

"I asked you if you'd like to look at your room." 

Eskel and Geralt looked at her questioningly when Geralt realized that she hadn't listened to him at all. The witcher sighed in frustration and let his shoulders hang lazily, Eskel saw him amused.   
Geralt walked past her and signaled with a hand movement that she should follow him.  
Eire got up and waved to Eskel. He just nodded his head slightly when he saw her disappearing with his friend behind the door next to the kitchen. 

-

Her room was quite simply furnished. A bed and a dresser. Nothing more. 

"It is... simple," she said, looking around as if there was a lot to see. 

Geralt shrugged his shoulders. 

"What did you expect. The chambers of a king?" 

She threw a joking glance at Geralt, and he just shrugged his shoulders. 

"You'll have to get used to that," he explained. "Unfortunately, I have no mirror to give you. You women put so much emphasis on it."

Eire sighed and didn't want to open a drawer again that she had just closed. 

"I don't need it Geralt. Thanks." she said curtly.

The witcher heard a hint of frustration which made him worry. But he left it at that and left her alone. He didn't want to press on a nerve the first day. The trip was stressful enough for her already. He had also not forgotten that she had hardly slept the last night. 

"You probably want to rest," he said when he saw how she was already tugging at her boots in an annoyed way. 

"That wouldn't be bad." 

Geralt nodded and gave her a short smile before he disappeared behind the creaking wooden door.

-

There were many things that bothered her or that she wanted to know. Looking for answers to questions that were perhaps superfluous?   
A whirlpool of thoughts that she was only too happy to let go of herself. Her body was exhausted from the long journey. The icy cold from Skellige to Kaer Morhen had not made it easier for her. She was only human and could not accept such trivialities as easily as a witcher.   
This rage always came up as soon as she thought about how weak she was. Even though she could always prove herself to the muscular and sweaty men with her fists, the smallest things like cold were already a big enemy for her.   
In a bad mood she threw her boots into the next corner and climbed into bed. 

On evenings like these, she wished for nothing more than not waking up at all. To fall asleep, to dream of a perfect life and just lie there with a smile on her lips.  
There she was again in her dark chamber, which should have remained closed.   
She turned towards the wall and tried to sleep. She banished these thoughts before she would be completely swallowed up in this darkness and finally fell asleep shortly afterwards.

~

**As previously announced, here is a picture, or rather a representation of Eire. Since I don't have a graphics tablet, I had to edit it on my phone. I hope you guys like it and I will keep you updated as always.**

**Please stay healthy and take care of yourself!**


	7. Chapter 7

It was cold. The cold air moved through the room and enveloped it in its icy chill. It spread veil-like mist on the floor and reached her bed.   
She pulled the blanket close and her teeth began to chatter. She didn't want to move from the spot in fear she would freeze to death at the slightest movement. Her breath, which came out of her mouth every time she lowered her chest, formed into a small cloud and faded into the cold. 

"Cold..." she whispered.

It felt like she was back in Novigrad. The time when she had struggled on the streets. The time when she thought she wouldn't survive the winter. A memory that still haunted her like a nightmare. But she was no longer in Novigrad. Then where did this cold come from that made her shiver to the core?

Eire tried to pull herself together and turned to the other side. Suddenly she was no longer cold. It was gone in an instant, as if it had never been there.

"What the..." 

Stunned, she sat up in bed and examined the room with her eyes. There was nothing there that might begin to hint at what had happened. 

_Perhaps magic was at work._

She tore the blanket from herself, groped barefoot on the cool floor, and picked up her boots, which lay on the other side. 

She quickly slipped into them, threw her linen cloak over her shoulder and ran down the stairs to the hall. 

She earned surprised pairs of eyes when she saw the others sitting by the fireplace. 

Her puzzled face made the others look at her in wonder. 

"What happened?" asked Geralt, watching her hair stand on end in every direction. 

Normally, she cared about her hair, but this time other things were more important to her due to this strange event in her room. 

"My room was freezing cold from one moment to the next! Can someone explain that to me?" she exclaimed, still shaken, all the while looking at Geralt, who stood there clueless.

"No one did any magic here. If that's what you were getting at." he explained and Eire thought for a short while that she had already gone mad.

She pulled up a chair and sat down by the fire. She tried to distract herself from the icy cold with the warmth, although she knew very well that it was not her imagination. 

It could well have been a breeze, but there was no window open far and wide or a crack in the wall that could blow the air in.

While she was thinking to herself what the reason could have been, Vesemir came and noticed the tense air that was in the room.

"Somebody didn't sleep real well, did they?" he said, and Eire's gaze shot to Vesemir. She was not at all in a good mood to joke with anyone.

She looked helpfully at Eskel, who noticed that she was getting frustrated. 

Eire waited until Vesemir turned to Geralt and then walked over to Eskel, who was sipping fresh mead. She sat down next to him while her eyes watched Geralt and Vesemir's movements. 

She leaned against his shoulder so that she could whisper in his ear.

"Do you think I'm crazy? Please tell me you believe me." 

Her voice was so low that only the witcher could hear her. He could tell she was serious. She reminded him of a desperate puppy begging for food.  
Eskel also looked over at his colleagues before giving her an answer, keeping the jug to his lips.

"I don't think you've gone crazy," he declared, taking another sip. "You're sure that wasn't your imagination?" 

His cat eyes rolled to hers, which only reflected the desperation in her.  
He didn't need to get an answer to know how serious she was after all. She struck him as one of those women who asked him for help when there was another monster problem. And this one was a problem. But it wasn't certain that this was a monster. 

"I'll go to your room later. If that's okay with you." 

As if she had felt Vesemir's scowl like a dagger in her back, he interfered, and over Eskel's shoulder, his grim face confirmed her suspicions. 

"You're not going anywhere, young lady." 

He threw each word at her head and though they were invisible, she could feel the force with which he uttered them. 

She felt like a little kid, which didn't really lift her spirits that morning. 

Eskel gave her a look of pity and apology as she remembered why she was in Kaer Morhen in the first place. 

_Training and control._

She stood up and walked past the table. 

Standing before Vesemir like a soldier before a general, she forced a smile and ignored the gold gleaming through his narrowed eyes.

"Shall we begin?"

~

It was a day like any other, except that the wind was blowing a little stronger and the cold on their skin felt like whip lashes. 

The courtyard was empty, Geralt and Eskel spared themselves the trouble of following them and watched them from a distance from the terrace. 

"I still don't know what the problem is with her other than she's a little paranoid," Eskel said as he spoke to his friend beside him, his eyes fixed on Eire. 

Geralt knew there was a question behind the sentence, but he didn't answer it and Eskel didn't expect him to.   
To be honest, he didn't know himself and that was also the half-truth.   
She had no control over her emotions, over herself. Yes. But he knew that something was dormant in her. Something that was waiting to break free from the shackles and destroy the world before her eyes. To control her. All of them. He had seen it. In her eyes. The flicker when she just dropped everything and attacked him with her bare hands. And he wasn't the only one who knew. His locket had also vibrated when that spark flashed. 

If he hadn't stopped her at that moment, what would have happened? 

The question ran cold down his spine and he quickly pushed it aside. She would be safe here, and maybe meditating would help control that flame. Just maybe. A hope the witcher had been clinging to all this time. 

A curse from Vesemir snapped him out of his thoughts, Eire had once again said something that had upset him. 

The corners of his mouth twitched upward briefly as he saw Vesemir force her to kneel before him.   
He heard Eskel snort. It had amused him as well.   
The two of them had leaned forward against the railing and watched the theater continue.

"Stop whining and get on your knees." the witcher ordered as he pierced her with his angry gaze. A familiar situation that reminded her of the dwarf. 

She smirked and obeyed him. As if she were a servant and Vesemir the king. 

She put this absurd comparison out of her mind. Never would she condescend to a person, even a human, like that. 

Had she just downgraded herself by speaking her own race with such disgust?

She was a human herself, so why this hatred towards her own kind?

She pushed aside the dark swelling thoughts and concentrated on her so-called training, which was called meditating.

Forced onto her knees, she placed her hands flat on her thighs and waited for the next command.

"Close your eyes." 

She did. 

"Relax your shoulder and free your mind. Don't think about anything. Absolutely nothing." 

Her brow furrowed. She didn't think much of meditating, nor did she think it would help her fight in any way. Would help at all. The only thing that helped her was the pain she felt when she punched with her bare fists into the face of one of those men fighting in the streets. When she felt the pressure, the force, on her skin or the cracking and breaking of the bones under her skin. That was something that made her feel alive. The only thing that really helped her. 

_Helped me_.

She was startled when suddenly this icy cold from this morning came over her again. 

It felt like the cold was wrapping itself around her heart like a cloak and trying to crush her. 

She opened her eyes, gasping, and just as she realized what was happening, Vesemir growled. 

"Concentrate. If you don't, none of this will do you any good. You need to shut your mind off." 

Hadn't he seen that fright in her? Hadn't the coldness touched him? 

"Eire." he admonished her. 

Her eyes darted to him. 

"That's not going to work. You can't just think of nothing. You're always thinking about something." 

She fell into her old skin, forgetting the fear she had a moment ago, and exchanged evil glances with the witcher before he gave up and said they would leave it for today. 

She saw the witcher climb the stairs to the terrace and disappear behind the door, followed by Geralt and Eskel. 

They left her alone outside. 

She was angry because he hadn't noticed anything. He didn't even address her startled, chalk pale face. Either he really hadn't noticed or he was so stupid to ignore it. 

If that was the solution that could have helped her, she didn't want it to. 

The sky was already getting dark, but not because of her state of mind or because it was getting evening, but because it started to rain drop by drop and she decided to go back to her room that reminded her more of a chamber than a room. 

Without giving a glance to the others, she disappeared into it and Eskel didn't come by to inspect her room either, because she knew now that it wasn't the room.


End file.
